Either I was born *grown up* (how boring), or: I shall never be *grown up* I am thinking 🤔, nearly 84, which is pretty exciting.

When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?

Officially back in the day, The Netherlands, law: at 21 you could vote, get your driver’s licence, a bank loan (as a male, but a female had to get  permission either of her father or husband (when married).

Laws, irritating and or ridiculous laws…

You even had to get permission to get married, being under 31!! And when Dad, calling the shots, refused: you and your intended/fiancé had to go to court!!

Young women back then (also) got pregnant before being legally married: and a child born out of wedlock: stigmatized in a country full of prejudices, and religions which pushed such on Dutch people: The Catholic religion, and all forms of other Christian religions.

By tradition, The Netherlands can still be considered a CALVINISTIC country.

(and for those not familiar with Calvinism: just briefly check the Wikipedia.

I am still talking about:

How does one FEEL grown up, if ever? With one’s cultural habits, local folklore, and specially with *family* – affairs, hierarchies, patriarchs, AND matriarchs, controlling their offspring one way or another. 👹

In my case: my father insisted I be home at midnight, and one night: it was pouring with rain I waited a few minutes, ringing the doorbell at 00.05: he appeared and said: you are too late, you can go, and went inside.

There I stood, dripping wet.

My transport, someone who had dropped me off had gone,  I was 20, and actually came back from the job – evening shift.

No mobiles eh, not even a street telephone within 2 miles.

Extremely unfair and bad-parent behaviour,  which I never forgave him, nor my mother NOT standing up for me, her kid.

After 30 years just before he died: he apologised!

A bit late eh Dad, I replied!! Yes yes I know, and began (as an adult), I meanwhile 50, explaining things to me.

Listen Dad: what you did was evil! No excuse doing that, and under the existing circumstances: winter, pouring rain, me 5 min. late because of all that, eh?

My life then, at 20, earning my keep, still living at home: I can assure you was still kid-stuff.

It took me years before I was in touch with them again, and I never again spent one night under their roof: they hurt me badly,

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That act, in my opinion bad parental behaviour, and not the behaviour of a GROWN UP as well more or less decided how my life from then on *developed*.!!

NOT BAD, not at all bad.

Note:

God, or the Universe most likely had BETTER PLANS 🙏  for me, I have always felt.

But at the time: I felt awful still just a kid, in shock that a grown up, my father, dealt  that badly, unforgivingly with a minor incident, (due to weather conditions)

Willy.